I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
