wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
