I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
