I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
