My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
