belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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