There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
