I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
