i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
