Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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