oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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