You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
