Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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