I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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