my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
