The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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