She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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