I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
