Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
