I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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