My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Randomize