And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
