there was a trapeze. enough said
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Randomize
