i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
