I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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