For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
