I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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