Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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