70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
