not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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