That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize