she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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