What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
