Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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