My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
he thought i was a dude.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
