DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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