Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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