Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
