i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
