Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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