your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
