How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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