Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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