he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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