Having a random hookup so left but love u
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
