Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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