my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
