I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
