party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
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