garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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