Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
