His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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