So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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