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No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
