we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
