In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
