As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
