Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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