There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
