the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
