You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
