Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
