a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
The feeling are messing with the penis
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Randomize
