Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
this is an emotional support booty call
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
