fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
