I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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