Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
