I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
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